I was diagnosed with a mild vaginismus case when I was 22. However, I had been dealing with the issue since I was 19 years old and had convinced myself that the tightening and the feeling of the vagina and clitoris moving all the time was completely normal, that everyone experienced this. But once I started to remember my sexual abuse problem this issue became increasingly worrisome for me. I was having nightmares and my clitoris and vagina were moving on their own and many times, it became quite painful to deal with! Once I started asking my friends whether or not this was normal, they said they never have anything like that. That's when I decided to go to my doctor who had performed by hip surgery, thinking that maybe he hit a nerve or something and there was some type of damage. He basically, in nice words, called me an idiot and told me that he would refer me onto a gynaecologist. Oh he did, 5 weeks later after I called every single day and told them to do so. I never went back and saw him again.
I met with this strong female gynaecologist who listened and did her tests, she didn't have an exact name for it but knew there was a physical therapist specialist at the physical therapy unit by my university in the city who would be better at putting a finger on it. I went into the physical therapy appointment and finally I had an answer. I wasn't crazy.
Common symptoms of pelvic floor problems can include urinary issues, pain in your pelvic area, difficulty emptying bladder or bowel, pain with sex, needing to go to the toilet constantly, or a prolapse. The issue I dealt with specifically, vaginismus, is a bit more specific. These symptoms include spasms while attempting intercourse, issues with penetration, pain during sex, and even pain while trying to insert a tampon! My issue comes from problems in the muscle spasms.
Vaginismus are incredibly common in women but especially women with endometriosis. During these therapy appointments we worked a lot of my breathing, I was a chest brother and didn't realise that you should actually be breathing through your belly. We focused on this for months and small exercises that I could do at home.
Vaginismus is something that I still deal with. I also know that there are several things that can cause it such as actual physical issues but also trauma. I have read in some books that have suggested that some of their patients that suffer from vaginismus have also been sexually abused or assaulted at some point in their life. This could be the case for me however, I also have endometriosis that grows all over my pelvic floor so my muscles are always tight in my pelvis too.
Pelvic floor issues are incredibly common and if something doesn't feel right in your floor, speak up, you probably aren't the only one. As women, we often try to convince ourselves that it's all in our head because we have been told this by so many doctors! It's just your anxiety, it's just that you're stressed, nothing is 'truly' wrong. What they tend to forget is that as women we are incredibly intuitive, I don't believe that we are as in tune with our bodies as we should be now a days but there is still an ounce of us that know when something doesn't feel right. Advocate. Read. Educate. And Speak Up because your voice matters and it's heard. My vaginismus still hurts me to this day (mainly because I moved across the ocean and didn't get to finish therapy) and I don't want anymore women or girls convincing themselves that their pain is 'all in their head.'
Xoxo,
Moonli
http://www.pelvicfloorfirst.org.au/pages/how-can-i-tellif-i-have-a-pelvic-floor-problem.html
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