Remember that joke from that ignorant boy in your class, "He popped her cherry." Or did you hear about that story of a young women either being beaten to death or abused by her husband because she didn't bleed after the first time they had sex. Welcome to the hymen and why we need to break the myth of what it is.
"The hymen is a thin membrane that surrounds the opening of the vagina." The hymen can come in all different shapes but the most common is a half moon shape. It is located within the vaginal opening and guess what? There are several things that can break the hymen BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT EVERY SINGLE WOMEN'S HYMEN BREAKS (Young Women's Health).
Things that can break a hymen could be horseback riding, putting in a tampon, falling on a sharp object, natural growth, or even sex. But there are women out there that have done all of these things and there hymen is still in tact (Young Women's Health).
Yes, some women will bleed after they have sex because maybe there is a small tear in their hymen but there is no guarantee that a women's hymen will break. Some will and some what and that is that. To set aside someone's virginity based on the hymen, is for one, completely no one else's business because it is your body. Two, it may have broken the first time you put in a tampon or went horseback riding or maybe you've done all of these and have had sex and still have a fully in-tact hymen and that is okay! Three, the original definition of virginity is entirely different than what white men and religion have put on it. The original definition of virginity actually was defined as an independent, untied, free women which should be every single women in this entire world (Griffiths, 2017). It had nothing to do with sex and in my book, it still doesn't. You are allowed to have as many or as little sexual partners that you desire as long as both parties give full consent in matter.
I wanted to clear this up because I grew up until about a year ago thinking that hymen was the only way to tell if a women was a virgin until I quickly learned that the whole construct of the word virginity and the whole definition behind the hymen were completely inaccurate. The hymen is part of your lovely lady bits and your body will do what it needs to do.
Lots of love ladies,
Moonli
https://www.sbs.com.au/topics/sexuality/agenda/article/2017/04/13/it-time-reclaim-word-virgin-its-original-meaning
https://youngwomenshealth.org/2013/07/31/hymen_break/